Monday, 14 November 2011

Riding The Wave Of Insomnia

Well it's more like a Tsunami now. Believe me, I love my sleep, there is nothing better than sleep in my eyes. I feel no guilt when it comes to sleeping,  no matter what the time of the day or night. To just switch off and go into a deep sleep is pure bliss. It is the cure for almost anything. Whether sleep is filled with nothingness, pleasant dreams or even nightmares, it is just the antidote for all problems. Even bad dreams play a role in curing issues and problems. OK, nightmares are very scary for children, but as an adult they have a place, not matter how bizarre; frightening or weird. It is something in your subconscious that needs to come out.  I am no  expert on sleep; psychology or dreams, that is just how I feel about both good and bad dreams.

Sleeping Tweety Pictures, Images and Photos

My problem is that I cannot get to sleep. I am totally exhausted and cannot keep my eyes open, until I have had a bath and hop into bed. Then sleeping is the furthest thing on my mind. My mind becomes busier than Bree Street Taxi Rank, OK so I have never been to the Bree Street Taxi rank, or anywhere near it, but I know it is a hive of commotion, taxis in and out, up and down, people, noise, shouting and that is my mind. Thoughts shoving through, over taking each other picking up more thoughts, overloading on other thoughts, racing, pushing, screeching to a halt, accelerating, fighting shouting - no rest just up and down, backwards and forwards, from the minute I climb into bed. Then just like the suburban housewife in her little car or maybe her gas guzzler, fighting the taxis, not giving them a gap, pushing through, I fight the thoughts racing around my head, my mind, my brain. Just like the suburban housewife knows or should no, that it is better to let the taxis go on ahead, make their way through the traffic, they play an important role in the community, in the workforce, in the lives of the people, don't fight them let them do their thing, I fight the thoughts, I try stop them, I try to overtake them, force them back in the queue, let them know I was there first and it ends in a fight, a rage of sleep deprivation, anxiety, stress. I know I should let then run their course, they play an important role, so why fight them, but I do.



Last night was no different. I stayed up late, messing around on my blog, I needed to be tired, I needed to hit the pillow and succumb to the pleasant world of sleep, without the rage and the fights. I stayed up until after 11pm, also partly,because I needed to take my antibiotics at 12, so left it until as late as possible. Trying to take antibiotics four times a day, every 6 hours to make them work, is quite a mission. I had a relaxing bath, hopped into bed after 11.30 and what do you know - wide, wide a wake. No different to any other night, plus adding fuel to the fire, was a burning stomach from anti-inflammatory pills, a very painful ear, mouth, jaw, teeth, you name it, it was sore  and no more painkillers, not even a panado in the house and added to that a Lucozade high. I was feeling so drained from the pain, the pills, the sleep deprivation that I drank copious amounts of Lucozade to get through Saturday and Sunday, so sleep was as far off as it could ever be.

Off to the lounge I went, tired, drained and very irritated, but I did not want my tossing and turning to wake Mark, who has also been ill. Sleeping in the lounge is the best cure for insomnia. Falling asleep on the couch is sinful and delightful, you know the pleasantness of Forbidden Fruit. Couches are not for sleeping on, they don't hold that threat of having to sleep, but how quickly does one just curl up on the couch and have the most awesome, deep, restful sleep. So off to the lounge I went. I spent the best part of an hour on my blackberry, catching up on the news, on my twitter timeline, reading blogs and then suddenly got attacked by a ginormous moth. A bit of exaggeration, but when you are sitting in complete darkness, with just the dim light from a blackberry, a moth suddenly flying into you, looks huge and scary. This thing was relentless, the attraction of my little shiny light was all this moth wanted and no amount of shooing would get it to fly away. after flaying my arms and hands, it finally decided this enemy meant business and the tiny light was not worth it and it flew off to hide in the shadows of darkness.

sleeping Pictures, Images and Photos

My eyes eventually could not take the strain of the dim light, tiny words on an electronic device and slowly started to close and sleep came to me, in all its majestic glory. I won't lie and say I had a totally uninterrupted 3 and a half hour sleep. Pluto came to join me in the lounge, he slept on the massage chair, then Miss Piggy came along and hopped on the big couch, her favourite spot, I slept on the smaller couch, less of a threat of sleep and Garfield sat on the table, staring at me whilst I was falling into oblivion. Miss Piggy was snoring and her tummy was making these really obscene rumblings and grumblings and growls. I don't know what she sneakily ate, to cause the noises, because she is only allowed her dog food and nothing else. By then I was so sleepy, that her tummy rumblings and snoring just washed over me. Pain became the interfering busy body, interrupting my welcoming sleep, but the times between waking up in pain were deep and restful.

The noise of my alarm buzzing at 5am was the most unwelcoming sound you could imagine and I was ready to fling it out the window. After a slow start, I finally raised my weary body off the couch and went about my early morning chores. Drinking copious amounts of coffee, dragging dishes to the dishwasher, dragging laundry baskets to the washing machine. How on earth do three people accumulate so much washing in just three days, the one basket filled to the brim and overflowing with just towels. Sorting washing, drinking coffee, collecting cups, smoking, drinking coffee, Monday blues and tripping over piles of laundry all over the kitchen floor, not an exciting start to the day. Well, at least that was all I was tripping on, having finished the Mybulin and the panado and the panamor and the Lucozade, there was nothing else to be tripping on.

So with a swollen face and a tightly clenched, not by choice, jaw,I had to start my day. The pain has not subsided, nor has the swelling and to say I look like a Chipmunk or a squirrel collecting winter nuts would be a compliment. I have a fat face and a disgustingly huge double chin all because living with pain was easier than driving to the dentist.

I will leave the rest of my day for another time, except to say, tomorrow is Social Sciences and it will come as a great surprise if Chad passes it.

Till next time

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