Thursday, 26 January 2012

Smoking - Number Seven And Final One

I gave up giving up smoking a long, long time ago and yes I know it is a very disgusting and dirty habit, but there are worse things in life than smoking. One thing that really annoys me, is people who don't smoke, be they ex-smokers or totally non smokers, who go on about smokers, but drink alcohol. Yes, I enjoy a drink from time to time, but don't call smoking unhealthy if you consume alcohol. Smoking does not alter your brain or make you do stupid things. Smoking is not the cause of most road fatalities, smoking is not the cause of child abuse, rape, murder or anything else. Passive smoking might be bad for you, but travel on the roads with fumes spewing out of trucks and buses and un-roadworthy, un-maintained cars then tell me the toxins don't go into your body. I work in the motor industry, have non smokers cars come in for repairs and breathe in all those nasty toxins, but can't smoke in my office, when half the time the office is filled with toxic exhaust fumes. What hypocrisy and double standards. Texting, talking, tweeting and taking photos whilst driving is far more dangerous than second hand smoke and I know plenty of people, health fanatics who hate smoking who do that. If I smoke whilst driving, which I don't often do, but I do when stressed out on the roads, stressed out from all the road users who have no respect for the rules of the road, my smoking will not kill you or your child, but your texting, tweeting, talking and taking photos on your phone whilst driving will kill someone or their child. My point being unless you live a life where you live by all the rules, don't touch alcohol and are a complete health fanatic, don't talk to me about how unhealthy smoking is.

Now that I have had my rant, lets get to why smoking is on my list of changes, it was never meant to be on my list, so it is a shocker to me too.  I mentioned in my post about The Full Blast Musical that I went into the smoking casino to have a smoke and it smelt so bad that I wanted to get sick. Now bare in mind it is packed with people smoking, combined with the smell of alcohol and body odour in an area much smaller than the area for non smokers and everyone is jam packed inside there, puffing and drinking away. Plus you get some brands of cigarettes that really stink and people smoke cigars or cigarillos, probably pipes to and who knows what else they shove in their cigarettes, so smoking areas in casinos are disgusting, probably also in clubs and pubs, but I don't go to such places so wouldn't know. Walking out of there made me think about how disgusting it is and yes if you are a non smoker you will inhale second hand smoke, you will also stink like old smoke and who knows what else. You will probably get drunk on the alcohol fumes too. If there were designated areas for drinkers only it would smell just as disgusting. They should actually have designated areas in restaurants and public places for drinkers, so that non drinkers don't have to put up with the loud drunken uncouth behaviour of people who drink too much.

I am not sure if that was what was on my mind last Monday morning, but whilst I was doing my hair and makeup, smoking of course I decided I had enough of smoking. I had two smokes left and decided that is that. I am giving up. Easier said than done!! Most of my smoking is habit more than addiction. When I wake up, I smoke, when I have coffee I smoke, after I have eaten I smoke, when I am bored I smoke, when I am stressed I smoke. I am a chain smoker. So what do I do instead of smoking after I have eaten, when I drink coffee etc. I ended up looking for something to do with my hands and mouth so I ate. I cannot afford to put on weight and whats the point of stopping one bad habit, just to put on weight which is as unhealthy. I persevered, but went up to the shop and bought a loose cigarette. I had three for the day and my last cigarette was at 3pm until I got to work the next morning, when I bought another loose cigarette. Selling loose cigarettes is supposed to be illegal and yes it is breaking a law, but what a stupid law. You cannot sell loose cigarettes, because there is no warning on the cigarette telling you smoking is bad for you. If anyone does not know that, then they are stupid.

For three days I managed to go without smoking from 3pm until around 9 the next morning. I asked Chad and Mark if the house smelt better without me smoking in it. They did not even know that I had not smoked in the house at all for 3 days. Not very observant are they, but if smoking in the house was so bad, then surely not smoking would have been noticeable. So is it just all in the mind, when you see a person smoking then it stinks and affects you. Mark and I ended up having a huge fight, he blamed it on me being irritated because I could not smoke, when in fact it had nothing to do with that, but everything to do with him and even if I chain smoked, we would have fought. I ended up buying a packet of smokes on Thursday and am smoking a packet a day again. Well I was smoking two packets before then.

The last two days have been bad and I have started chain smoking again, what I really want to do, if I don't stop completely, is to cut down drastically. It is an expensive habit anyway, but at the same time I could spend that amount of money on sweets and chocolates and get fatter, which is not an option. The main reason why I want to stop or cut down is because it is unhealthy, Chad does not like me smoking, saying that, Clint also hated it and I don't enjoy it anymore. Mark gave up smoking about 12 years ago. He says he just gave up, but he started cutting down a long time before that. I would smoke half his box and he would have a few drags and then throw it away or give it to me and that he did for months, but still insists he gave up just like that. He never smoked as much as I do anyway.

Well I will try and see how long it lasts, if I give up, if I go back to my couple a day or if I stay chain smoking. So maybe I will be saying good bye to these.



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