Friday, 17 May 2013

Kicking Butt.........

OK, so following on from this post  The End Of An Era, I am still smoke free and am in my second week now. I am still shocked that a) I have given up smoking and b) it has been for easier than I ever imagined it to be.

It is without a doubt all in the mind, even though it IS a physical addiction. If you don't want to give up smoking you wont. I have never wanted to in the past, but now the time is right and I really want to give up.

Boy do I miss smoking. I love smoking and I am not going to get onto the ex-smoker bandwagon of saying how bad smoking is for you. There are a lot of things in life that are worse than smoking and more dangerous to others than second hand smoke. Things like texting and driving or any other  traffic violation, which people do without a care in the world. Exhaust fumes, especially diesel fumes from the cheaper diesel, and and and.................

Whoever says that when you give up smoking, you will feel so much better, is speaking absolute nonsense. You feel awful and I am sure that is why most people try and give up and then start all over again. I am not qualified to give an opinion on that, because I have never given up smoking until now. I have said that I am giving up, but the truth of the matter is I have not. I have never gone without a cigarette for more than a day and a half and that was due to circumstances beyond my control and not because I was planning on giving up.

I mentioned before that I joined the Kick Butt Program which suggests that you start a diary or journal on your cravings and feelings about smoking, but to keep your thoughts and feelings secret. I don't entirely agree with that, because if I kept it secret, I probably would have given up, giving up smoking by now. I just don't have time to keep a journal and my plan was to record my journey here, but I also don't get a chance to keep updating my blog. I started this post yesterday morning and did not even get past the first paragraph, but I will try.

The other thing I don't agree with is that you must stay away from smoking areas or other smokers, to stop the temptation to smoke again. If you have to avoid smokers then you have not given up and with any addiction, if you cannot say "No Thanks, I don't drink" "No Thanks, I don't do drugs"  or "No Thanks, I don't smoke" then you have not given up your addiction. If you don't have the power to say NO, then you are still as addicted as the next person. I won't say it is easy being with smokers, the smell of a burning cigarette is such an awesome smell - not stale cigarettes, but a freshly lit cigarette, is just out of this world - it talks to every bit of my brain, mind, soul and body - that is the addiction - the craving.

What they do say in the program, is that it is not easy and it is not plain sailing. It is like climbing Mount Everest, it is a long hard climb till you get to the top. They say the first 3 days are the hardest - for me they were the easiest. I am almost at the end of week 2 and I still wake up at night after dreaming of smoking and the smell of a freshly lit cigarette is as strong as if someone is smoking in the house.

I really admire Mark for giving up all those years ago and honestly don't know how he managed to give up completely, with me still smoking and smoking in the house and all around him.

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