Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Six Months

If you had told me 6 months ago, that I would be able to go without a cigarette for 6 months, I would have told you that you were crazy. In fact when I woke up on Saturday 4 May 2013, I would never have believed that I could go without a cigarette for 6 weeks; 6 days; 6 hours even 6 minutes. There was just no way. OK there were times that I managed 2 hours in a movie or travelling, but by then I was going off my rocker. The longest I ever went without a cigarette was when I had my jaw op and was just in too much pain to go outside and have a smoke in the smoking section on the other side of the hospital.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I went straight to the bathroom to have a cigarette. It was during one of those moments when I was on a smoking guilt trip and was not going to smoke in the house anymore, which became I will only smoke by the backdoor, which became OK I will smoke everywhere except in the bedroom. I had my smoke, went to the kitchen made coffee had another smoke, made another cup of coffee had another smoke, hence the not managing 6 minutes without a cigarette.

I went to work - this was also during one of my "cutting down" trips and by around 11, I realized that I had almost finished the whole packet of cigarettes I had bought the night before - so much for cutting down - and that is when I decided no more. If I bought smokes and smoked I would never give up. I also decided there and then that once I had finished the Nicorettes I had bought I would not buy anymore, because I was not swapping one addiction for another.

Unless you are by nature a Triple C snacker - DO NOT give up smoking for health purposes. Carrots; Celery and  Cucumber just don't have the same satisfaction as chocolate; chips and cookies and ice cream and sweets and food and and and.......................... There is absolutely no way that junk food can be healthier than smoking. I am always looking for something to shove in my mouth. I am always looking for that "after satisfaction" after food; after coffee; after a long trip; after a movie and then there is also whilst I am reading; whilst I am drinking coffee; whilst I am working; whilst I am concentrating. Always looking for something to put n my mouth. I tried cucumber in place of chips, but oh my word, I am so sick of cucumber, I cannot face another piece, Oh why can't I get sick of chips and chocolates.

My Substitute For Smokes
 I am craving chips right now. They are the perfect substitute for smoking - that whole hand to mouth process. I must say chocolates don't taste the same anymore, but instead of being put off by the taste I go in search of a chocolate that does taste like it used to. I was not one of those people who could not smoke whilst eating chocolate. There was nothing better than having a chocolate; chips and wait for it ---- Tab and a cigarette. Now I just have the chocolate and chips, but keep having more and more because I am missing "something"

Don't ever give up smoking to have more energy. I have slept through the past 6 months and have no energy. I walked on the treadmill last night and can usually (when I smoked) do 3 km's in 15 minutes, last night I did 2 km in 30 minutes. When I did try walk faster, I was so out of breathe and my chest was so tight I thought I was having a heart attack and had to slow down to an almost stroll.

My Dusty Treadmill From Lack Of Use

I was following all the Stoptober tweets on Twitter and people were saying how "full of energy" they were after a few days. It is physiologically impossible, unless I suppose you have only been smoking for a short time, to have more energy in a few days. Smoking is a physical addiction and getting rid of all the toxins causes strain on your body so it is impossible to have so much energy after one or two days. That's why I believe so many people end up smoking again. You feel awful, stressed and tired and the cravings stay with you forever so you just start smoking again. I still have vivid dreams of smoking - the smell of a freshly lit cigarette is as real as if I am siting in a smoke shop.

Six months later and it is as if I had a smoke 6 minutes ago................

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