Sunday, 16 March 2014

Mediums and Spiritual Healers

Last night we went to the John Edward Show at Gold Reef City. He is at Monte Casino tonight, which is closer to home and going on a Saturday would have been better, but we left getting tickets until too late and Monte was sold out. I did not want to go and I deeply regret going. Today, seven years ago was the fatal day that changed my life, our lives forever. Clint's life ended on the 15 March 2007, the fact that his death certificate says the 16th of March 2007, is just a technicality, the clock just ticked over after 12, giving him 3 hours of life on the 16th.

Mark has always wanted to go and see John Edward and watched Crossing Over years ago. He always tried to get me to watch it, but I never did - I never believed in such stuff - I had no reason to. My grandparents died when I was young and it was sad, but that is the way the cycle of life works. You are born; you are a baby; a toddler; a child; a teenager; an adult; you have children; they grow up; they have children; you are a grandparent; you get old - you die. It is sad, but it happens, life must work that way. So I had no reason to want to connect to anyone that had died. I loved my maternal grandparents very much and always wished that they were still alive, but I accepted that was life and did not spend much time on being sad and wishing they were alive - it was a fleeting moment that crossed my mind every couple of months, sometimes years. When Clint died that all changed and ever since he died and Mark convinced me to go and see a Spiritual Healer, I have not stopped searching for answers and that is why I ended up booking for the John Edward Show. The first time Mark asked me to book, there were seats available for tonight's show at Monte Casino, but I decided not to book, because it was on the 15 March. We then heard him on our local radio station's breakfast show on Monday morning and Mark told me to book and we managed to get tickets but at Gold Reef City. I then forgot all about it, until Thursday night and Mark had to rush off on Friday morning to collect our tickets.

The show was just not for me. There is nothing funny or amusing about death in my eyes. I have never found anything comical or funny about funerals, ashes or laughing about the dead in movies and shows and it just intensified when my child died. People were laughing a lot during the show and John Edwards made light of a lot of stuff even though he said he did not find anything entertaining about a child dying. Mark said people were not laughing and being disrespectful to the dead, they were laughing at happy memories of their dead family members - PERCEPTIONS!!!  I saw it has a show - where the audience found stuff funny that was not funny. Mark and I had huge discussions - heated and not so heated discussions/arguments on the way home until we silently agreed to disagree and respect each other's opinions.

Picture of Screen Before Show Started

Mark was blown away by a lot of the stuff and I think  know Mark wanted a reading or to be called out. As far as I am concerned if it is true, neither Clint nor my grandparents would have put me in a situation where the spotlight was on me and people were watching my raw hurt and grief. That is what it is for me. Raw, utterly heartbreaking, painful grief. I would never be able to stand up and laugh at "memories" with a thousand people laughing. I am not saying don't ever go to his shows because they are fake, I also won't say go to his show, because you will be blown away by what he says. This is my opinion and only my opinion, death and grief is very personal, seeking answers and a connection is VERY personal and going to that show for me was very upsetting and I felt that it was disrespectful to Clint and his memory. It was at the wrong time as well - on the eve of the 7th year anniversary of the day that started the end of his life.

I have so much more that I wanted to write about, but it is late, I can hardly keep my eyes open and I need to go to bed, so I will carry on where I left off some other time.

Good Night

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