Monday, 3 March 2014

Nightmares Of An Ex-Smoker = Nine Months And Counting

Actually it will be ten months in two days time, but just like I never had a chance to post on my blog on the 9 month mark on the 4 February, I know I won't have a chance to post on the 4 March for my ten month mark. When I posted on the 28 May 2013, a) I did not really believe I would last 9 months and 26 days and b) that I would still be craving cigarettes so badly if I did last 9 months and 26 days smoke free.

Dunhill Red
Last night the whole night I was filled with dreams of smoking. I smelt the smoke, I tasted the smoke and I craved a smoke all night in and out of my dreams. In each dream I was trying to convince myself that just one cigarette would do no harm. As I type this I am craving a cigarette so badly, I now understand why people start smoking 2 years, 10 years or even 20 years later = some people are addicts for life.

Fruit Bowl
I still do not believe that giving up smoking for health reasons is a good idea, because I still feel unhealthier than I did when I smoked. I have tried eating healthy foods and cut out junk, but why oh why do we get tired of healthy food like cucumber and fruit and not sweets, chocolates and chips. My cholesterol was tested again at the end of January and it is even higher than last year and I am now on medication for it. My blood pressure is still high, I am unfit and I am still waiting for that burst of energy that everyone brags about when they give up smoking. I have this 'worm" kind of feeling in my throat which the Doctor said was from GERD {Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease} she is treating me with Nexium it hasn't helped at all and I am sure it is related to giving up smoking. The one thing that will never make me start smoking again is the smell of stale cigarette smoke, especially the cheap cigarettes so many people smoke in South Africa, if those were the only cigarettes I could afford to buy when I was a smoker, I would have given up long ago. They are repulsive and the stale smell of someone who smokes them makes me want to vomit every time someone who smokes them is near me, It is the most disgusting smell ever. That is the one thing I cling to when I am tempted to buy a packet of cigarettes and light up - the smell Yuck!!!! I am not sorry that I gave up - just hope I can keep it up and start feeling healthier soon.

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