Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Eleven Months - No Smoking - Going Strong

So I have hit the eleven month mark. Eleven months and 3 days smoke free and yes, you right I am going to say it = THE CRAVINGS ARE STILL AS STRONG AS EVER!!!! Its crazy that there are days that I am so tempted to light up. It is crazy that I still have such realistic dreams about smoking. I can taste it, smell it; see it and feel it. I am honestly starting to believe that one of our neighbours' smoke outside in the middle of the night. Not that our houses are on top of each other, there is quite a distance between them and we are all behind 6ft walls and locked doors, but there is such a strong smell of cigarette smoke that wakes me up often at night and then the cravings are crazy crazy crazy strong. I battle to fall asleep again and lie there wishing I never gave up smoking. As a smoker I would wake up during the night and have a cigarette, there was no way I could wake up and not smoke - even if I woke up ten times at night - as I do - I would have 10 cigarettes. Now I just battle to get back to sleep, so I am permanently tired and brain dead.

Yes bad habits are hard to break, but I can say with almost complete certainty that I will never smoke again. I never thought I would ever say this but smokers are the most inconsiderate people ever - smokers and drunks and combined it is a million times worse. Today again I had this old man dropping his car off at 8.30 in the morning reeking of alcohol and walked into the reception/office and filled in the form with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth - he was very annoyed when I said "Please don't smoke in the office". He flung the cigarette out the door not even looking at who or what he might have thrown the cigarette at. The disgusting smell of alcohol and cigarettes at 8.30 am and smoke billowing all over me was just too much for me.

For that simple reason I will not light up ever again (I hope). People can smoke if they want to, it is their choice and I will not convince anyone to give up - I will in fact say don't give up if you think you are going to feel healthy and full of energy (and this isn't to those who have only smoked for a short time). If you have smoked for longer than you have not smoked and have spent most of your life smoking, then it is impossible to feel healthier and more energetic as your body no doubt goes through a massive shock trying to adjust. Every time I am so tempted to light up, I think of the most inconsiderate person I have come across and the stinking smell of cheap stale cigarette smoke on these very inconsiderate people. Not all smokers are inconsiderate. I know I used to smoke in my office - that is the reason why I gave up, the double standards was too much for me to live with, but I would never walk into someone else' office or reception area smoking. When I did smoke at work it was at our other premises with a huge office and reception and when no one was around. Yes that is just an excuse, but that is why I gave up. That and Chad bitching and fighting with me about smoking.

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