Friday, 6 June 2014

Thirteen Months - Get Your Head Around That

Yesterday it was thirteen months since my last cigarette, it is mind boggling that I have stuck it out this long. It is even more mind boggling that I still crave cigarettes like it was 13 minutes ago that I last smoked. As I type this, my mind hurts as I try and squash those very intense cravings. If there was a cigarette here now, I would light it up and smoke it. I would no doubt choke and have a head rush of note, but I would so love it.

My smoke free journey and battle with quitting smoking has been a long boring monotonous fight, a fight that I intend sticking to. I am in my second year of not smoking and have unofficially and without much fanfare, celebrated two World No Tobacco Days. Do I feel healthier since giving up smoking? No not at all. I feel healthier now than I did ten months ago, but certainly not healthier than I did 18 months ago. The craziest thing is that I don't feel the cold like I used to feel it. Mark says it can't be from giving up smoking. I know last year I was a freezing shivering wreck and my most content place was in bed with my electric blanket on. My weekends were spent in bed sleeping. I know this year our Winter has been very mild up until today. The temperatures dropped drastically and it is cold, but to me it really is not that cold. Usually my body and skin aches in Winter, but so far I don't feel like I usually do in Winter. It is either menopause, not smoking or both. Maybe even the fact that I have put on a lot of weight since giving up and I just cannot diet or eat healthily for more than a week. Other than my obsession with Rooibos Tea and Chamomile Tea all my crutches to assist with not smoking are very unhealthy.

Miniature Tea Cup Of Rooibos Tea 

For a comfort eater, cucumber, celery and carrots just don't do it. Carbs and the really bad ones like cookies,chocolate and chips are just so comforting when you crave cigarettes. One thing that has put me off ever considering lighting up again is the smell of cigarettes. Oh my word, I know I sound like a stuck record but stale cigarette smoke stinks. I actually get into such a bad mood when I smell it on anyone and not because I am craving a smoke. Stale smoke smell kills the craving straight away. Today I was buying milk and there was a woman in front of me that was about 60 buying rizzler papers and Winston cigarettes. She stank like stale smoke and really what would a woman of 60 want with rizzlers. She was dressed like a 16 year old, with dyed hair and a wrinkled face. A glamour granny is one thing and in fact there is nothing wrong with being a glamour granny, but trying to still look and act 16 when you are really old is just ugly.

I am starting to now really see the benefits of giving up smoking. The smell, the yellow fingers if you have a heavy night of smoking. I really don't think I will start smoking again. I wish I could be one of those people who can have one smoke in a blue moon, but I am not and won't risk getting sucked up into it again.

Good Night

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