Monday, 15 September 2014

About That Change

I was a bit cryptic in this post about change and decisions and it would be understandable if you thought we were packing up and moving far away, but we are not. It is still same old same old. Mark and I both fear change and the unknown. We would both love to pack up and move far away from here, but we are both too scared to just do it. For years after Clinty died this house and place was my security net. Now I just want to leave - this place is suffocating and stifling - I need to get out and go far away. The world gets smaller and smaller and the noose gets tighter and tighter, but I think Mark and I both know that by moving away, we won't be leaving ourselves behind and we certainly won't be able to leave life's knocks behind either. So for now or at least until Chad finishes school, we are here to stay. Then we have no excuses. Granny from the blog Granny1947 commented on this post that she has made some huge changes in her lifetime and although they are scary they have worked out well in the end.

So what are the decisions we have made?? We have loads of cars and I am not saying that to boast or brag - it is a curse of Mark's trade. We have some cars for such a short time, that they are forgotten before they move onto their new homes, but the car/vehicle we have had for the longest is our Landrover. Our holiday vehicle from happier times. Clinty loved the Landrover and because of Mark's penchant for buying cars and then selling them off, Clint always said that he must never sell the Landrover and would get very upset if he even hinted at wanting to sell it. The Landrover was here to stay. The rooftop tent was Clint's place to sleep when we went away. He could assemble it all by himself and close it up again without any help. He could drive it and he was only 14 (not on the roads) - when we went away he would pack the caravan and the Landy and hook the caravan to the Landy by himself.  He had the patience, strength and determination that very few adult men have. When he died, Mark had personalised registration plates made for the Landrover - we couldn't get Clint or Clinton, so we got Clinty. Mark, Chad and I always called Clint - Clinty, so although we thought Clint would be better suited, Clinty was just fine. We were never going to sell the Landrover.

The Landrover stood and stood and so did the caravan - a year and a half later the caravan was sold and the Landrover stood and stood. The batteries had to be replaced - it has a few batteries - one to start the car like all cars have and then two for the fridge/lights/winch and whatever else uses power. When cars stand, seals get hard and leaks start - vehicles still need to be maintained even if they are not used. Licence fees need to be paid and the Landrover's licence fee is not cheap. After about two years Mark drove it around for awhile and then it stood. For the past 7 and a half years it has just really stood either at the workshop or at home. Last week Mark was offered a very good price for it and we spoke about it and that was the big decision we made last week. We were selling the Landy. I was sad, very sad, because it was like Clint dying all over again. Chad was upset, but not that upset, because he has his Uno and wants an Opel OPC (whatever that is) for his 18th birthday - Chad also keeps his hurt and sadness locked deep inside, so not sure how much is hidden sadness or how much is well I have my Uno. The other big decision is that I would pack up Clint's room this weekend - that will be a post on its own.

As usual our best laid plans never pan out and the guy who wanted to buy the Landrover was just a bullshit bertie and I knew he was, because of the person who referred him to Mark. Bullshit Bertie Bar Talk, but we have made the decision and I think it will get sold now. After the batteries were replaced again last week, the licence was bought a couple of months again - the batteries are replaced nearly every year - car batteries cannot stand. Some other work was done on it last year. So we have to say goodbye to our long standing holiday companion - I don't know what we will do with the personalised plates - Mark said I must put them on my car, but I drive a Getz - just doesn't go down well.

And that sums up our decisions and changes. Clint's room was another huge decision and the wrong one too, I will blog about that a bit later. I am working from home today. Sheila is sick or maybe just thought she would join our gardener and take off as much time as possible, because these days she is taking a lot of time off work, The house is in a huge mess, it always is on a Monday - it kinda validates having full time help. So I am at home doing laundry and half halfheartedly tidying up, plus I have sooooo much work to do - real work, the work I get paid to do.

Have a great Monday and week ahead, I am off to hang up the umpteenth load of laundry and then to tackle my work uninterrupted, except for trips to the wash line.

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