Wednesday, 19 November 2014

When Strangers Touch Our Lives

I wrote about The Cruelty That Is Life in July this year and among other very sad and cruel and unfair stories, I wrote about a blog that I read, called Soon To Be Survivor - Survivor Jill. A blog about a lady with breast cancer. Her posts are so positive and even full of humour, the title is an indication of her mindset. It was not an interactive blog per say and although I left a comment from time to time, I did not strike up an online relationship with her, but diligently read her cancer story.

The post that really got to me, was the post where she says her daughter knows she is going to die, her daughter is 9 or 10. The age that Chad was when Clint died. The age where they know what death is, but cannot comprehend or truly understand their feelings. As an adult I can't comprehend or understand or deal with my emotions so can't even imagine what it is like at 10 years of age. Her post touched me in ways that I could not describe, I was saddened and heartbroken.

A month later she posted this post about how she gave her jewelry to her nieces, bought a special bed,  cancelled appointments and planned the end of her life in a few weeks and then her health took an about turn for the better. There were a couple more posts and then nothing for a couple of months and on Friday her husband updated her blog and posted about how he and their daughter spoke about, no matter how science has advanced there is nothing more they can do for her mommy. You can read it over here. I only saw the post on Friday, but checked now and it was posted on the 10 November, last week Monday. All they could do was make her comfortable and she was comfortable lying in bed next to him.

Today I was not planning on posting anything, because I have lots of work, but had my blog open in my browser, because I had been reading the updated blogs on my blogroll. As I sat down to work and close my browser, Soon To Be Survivor Blog was right at the top of my blogroll. Survivor Jill lost her fight to cancer on the 12 November 2014. Her husband's post Celebrate Jilly, just broke me. As I gulp back tears for a stranger I have never met, it was a shock to read that she had died, because the blog was never about a sick and dying person. It was a story filled with humour and positivity and oh by the way I have breast cancer kind of story. I am battling to explain what I mean here, but I am saddened and shocked, even though death was inevitable after the last few posts.

Just this weekend I read her posts from 2008 when she was first diagnosed, I read the first year's posts, not knowing that she had already died. Her little girl was only two when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, her whole little life is centered around cancer, but what I can say is that she had an amazingly positive mother that she can be so proud of. A mother to be remembered as happy and positive, but it is still so dam cruel and unfair and life really sucks. Yes there are thousands of cancer stories and other equally sad and tragic stories, but this one has touched me and I can't explain the how or the why - it just has.

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Rest In Peace Survivor Jill

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