Saturday, 14 November 2015

Life Is Not A Text Book

In June this year when people we knew or people we knew of were dying in threes we decided to get our affairs in order because there is a lot of red tape involved when it comes to death and we didn't want Chad to have to struggle, not only financially, but with the arrangements etc if anything should happen to Mark and I, at the same time. This is life and these things happen. Anyone who believes that you just sit at home crying and waiting for people to bring you flowers and promises to be there for you any time of the day or night when someone dies of an unnatural death has no idea of the realities of dealing with death. I can't comment on death by illness as I haven't had to deal with that myself, but there is a whole lot of red tape when it comes to unnatural causes. Besides the fact that the words offered during your time of devastation and grief of being there for you are just words and no one actually lives up to those empty promises, there are realities that you have to face. There are accident reports you have to find, as in find out where the traffic official/police officer or both is stationed that was at the scene. There are mortuaries to go to; there are funeral arrangements to make, funeral homes to go to and a whole host of realities you have to face. There is no such a thing as being strong - people love saying that - it is not being strong it is a matter of having no option. It is going into autopilot and doing what you have to do.

With all these deaths, we realised that our stuff was in a mess and decided to sort it out, so Chad can find everything easily and also take out another better policy for me so Chad has no financial worries. Mark also wanted to take out another policy, he has adequate cover, but do you actually ever have enough cover. With all my ailments and medication that I am on, Thyroid; Gerd and Pre-Diabetes,  I doubted that I would get insurance, but it is not a cliche saying Mark's broker could convince an Eskimo that he needed more ice, because he would and could. At the end of June, the broker came guns blazing, redid our wills and started on the path of selling Mark even more insurance and changing my policy and months later on the 1 October 2015 my new policy came into effect. I got cover Mark didn't. His liver functions were sky high, which he blames on having Hepatits as a kid, which yes there is damage from that, as well as his earlier drinking days, but it was never high enough to be of concern to an insurance company. The fact that he drinks so much cold drink has to be a factor, but his  GP said it wasn't the reason, but I doubt the GP knows that a lot of cold drink is not the same as a lot of cold drink that Mark drinks. Almost 6 months later and he is still dealing with Insurance issues. The biggest issue is that instead of just taking out a small policy to cover Chad's car and taxes etc, yes you pay tax when you die too, which was the plan, his broker has convinced him that he should take out one big policy and cancel his others. Makes sense, because Mr Broker earns upfront commission and won't earn much on a small policy, but cancelling all the others and taking out one big one will earn him bucket loads of commission, Mark doesn't see that but then again, Mark never sees himself being conned by con artists.

Due to my many ailments I had to have many medical tests. Before they even took blood tests I had to have a full medical and because my GP doesn't do stress ECG's I had to go to another doctor and MR Broker who loves money arranged that I go to a Medical Centre and I refused. I will not go to any Medical Centre where I may come in contact with the murdering bitch who killed my child. I need to have control over the doctors I get to see and she may be a locum or employed by one of these train station type facilities. There were many emails and phone calls going back and forth, because going forward was in Chad's best interest and Chad is my reason for 90% of my life and reasoning, but dealing with Insurance Companies was making the end goal, Chad's well-being, very difficult. We got to a stage of a nurse coming out to ask questions and take bloods and I had to answer the same questions over and over and when the nurse arrived in all her arrogance I was ready to throw her and her suitcase out the window. When I did the forms with MR Broker, I said I had been on anti-depressants a year after Clint died, which was 7 years ago and question question question... I stopped them within about 6 months when my psychologist agreed with me that taking a pill will not bring my child back, all the pills in the world won't bring my child back and will not take away the pain. I did not have depression, I was and still am grieving. Lo and behold the nurse comes and asks the same questions and more. Her one question was when did my symptoms stop. I had to restrain myself from punching her in the face and told her she obviously has not gone through the death of a child and told her to go and tell her Company that I refuse to answer another question and tell them life is not a textbook. She was a seemingly intelligent women, English was her home language, she obviously did her training and schooling in the "good old days" a term I use loosely, yet her simple mind could not think out the box. I also said to her that you don't wake up one day and say "Oh Wow I Am Over My Son's Death".

When she left I did not expect to get Insurance, but MR Broker's office had already arranged with a Physician that I had been to previously to do the Full Medical. A really lovely man that helped me to restore a tiny bit of faith in the medical field which helped with all the Medical Marvel Moments I have had since Clint died and now that I have given up smoking. Turns out that I am super healthy, I have stopped taking the Glucophage, my stress ECG was better than very good and I am most definitely not an Insurance Risk. It took weeks and weeks to get there and even if my Insurance got turned down, I still managed to get a free medical out of them with a good physician. If all doctors were on the same level of professionalism and knowledge and empathy and compassion and of course, dedication as Dr Promnitz then life would be so different for us. He also told me that the term pre-diabetic is used far too loosely and I was probably Glucose Intolerant and obviously at the time I did need the Glucophage, but changing my eating habits have done more good than the medication. He told me after checking that I was never given a machine to check my sugar levels daily ( that would mean I am diabetic) that I should stop the glucophage for a month then check my blood sugar levels and if they are normal then I really don't need Glucophage anymore. My levels were excellent.

I did not mention on the Insurance form that I was treated for depression years ago because it was longer than the 5 year period on the form, but also in hindsight, I now know that I was not depressed. Doctors are too quick to think that a little pill is the answer to everything in life, without doing tests first. I now know that I had without a doubt iron deficiency anaemia, which have the same symptoms as depression, but no tests were done or questions asked about my then current health issues. Why, because iron deficiency anaemia doesn't put money into the bank account of medical institutions. I more than likely also had hypothyroidism then too, because you don't wake up one morning with an underactive thyroid and go to the doctor get diagnosed and treated for it. It is one of those medical conditions that take years and years to diagnose. Hypothyroidism have the same or similar symptoms as depression. My cholesterol was not even mentioned after the insurance blood tests were done and I have had high cholesterol since (that I am aware of) the insurance policy I took out about 13 years ago. Last year or the year before, my doctor said my Cholesterol was dangerously high and put me on medication, which I took for one month only and couldn't handle the side effects and stopped them, now it did not even come up as Insurance alarm bells. My physician said that my thyroid would have caused the high cholesterol as well.

I have to say that just by cutting out gluten and sugar for most of this year and doing juice detoxes throughout the year my health has improved in leaps and bounds. This time last year, I was so overweight and "├╝nwell". I felt ill all the time, I could not breathe, I just felt terrible. I remember waking up one morning and feeling so bloated I decided to try and do a 7 day juice detox and I managed, but barely and also I ate stir fry veg at night, but I struggled and I almost passed out at the shops, it was also very hot, but I felt faint all the time and now I do them with ease. I am currently on day 13 of a Green Juice detox, except that I ate butternut and also orange and fennel salad for dinner on Wednesday night (day 10) and Thursday night butternut and beetroot salad (homemade not bottled) and a shot glass full of raw cashew nuts on Thursday and Friday night and the rest green juices - no food at all. I haven't had coffee for 13 days and only drink water (not enough) Green Tea and Hot Lemon Water when I wake up. Oh I forgot some days I have a banana after work, because I feel I need the potassium from them.

I have managed to lose all my weight that I put on when I stopped smoking without really depriving myself, but I haven't managed to lose the weight from filling a hole after Clinty died. Now my weight fluctuates up and down by 5kg's and then I know I have to detox. I don't even have to weigh myself, as soon as I have too much gluten, my body screams and shouts at me to stop. I get puffy and bloated and I get out of breath easily and then it is time to detox. Thinking about it is tough, but once I get started I don't get hungry. I don't juice as such, whereby the juice is sucked out of the fruit, I still have the fibre, because I use my smoothie machine to make the juice, but I still don't get hungry. I sleep better, have more energy and feel so much better and I don't get hungry. I get hungry when it is time for a juice, I have four a day and then I am full and have no cravings for coffee, sugar, meat or anything and I cook for Mark and Chad every night.

Mark bought Grapefruit the other day, which he thought were oranges and I was upstairs at work and heard him saying that they were the most disgusting oranges he has ever tasted, they are sour. Then I said are you sure they are not grapefruit, he replied it says grapefruit on the label!!! I don't think Mark has ever seen or tasted Grapefruit, but instead of throwing them away I have had Grapefruit; Fennel; Apple and Lemon juices for breakfast every morning - Yuck right??? Not really it is definitely an aquired taste and I discovered by pure accident that freezing it straight after juicing and eating/drinking it frozen is actually refreshing and yummy. Now I am working on getting off the Nexium - another stupid Insurance question - when did you last have heartburn?? Um just wait whilst I have a look in my Diary that I DO NOT KEEP TO RECORD MY HEARTBURN EPISODES!!! I take the dam medicine and suffer from the side effects so that guess what - I don't get heartburn and acid reflux all the time!!!

So yes, life is not a textbook, how many super fit healthy people have unbeknown to them, cancer lurking in their bodies, just waiting for the day that it can rear it's ugly head, which could be a day after their insurance kicked in. What about road deaths, Clint's death is ultimate proof that life is not a textbook and does not go according to the plan of life. About a month ago another Client of ours was driving home from work late at night, he has probably never been to a doctor in his adult life, has no ailments and ends up dead as a result of the carnage on our roads, leaving behind a wife and two small girls. What I am saying is, yes Insurance Companies must do checks otherwise they would go bankrupt, but seriously, take your blinkers off, climb out the box, close your textbooks and face life realistically and pose your questions accordingly.

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