Tuesday, 10 January 2017

2017 Friend Or Foe

The other day I read that 2017 is going to be a good year because 2016 was a nine year which meant that it was an "end" year. I read it on either Twitter or Pinterest - the two places where I glean the vast majority of my extreme knowledge. I tried to find the link and or tweet so that I could link to it in this post, just to prove that I am not making this sh!t up, but I couldn't find the link. So was I making it up??

I found something similar over here on the Astrology Club's Website. That is not to say everything you read online is the truth and I guess you have to believe in numerology and astrology. Here is an excerpt of what they predicted for 2016:

"2016 is a 9 Universal Year, if you take the year and reduce it down to a single digit as such: 2+0+1+6=9. NINE is a finishing number, and represents the end of a cycle. It also is the number of the humanitarian. That means 2016 is a year of completion, rest and forgiveness." Read the rest over here.

It is a lot more positive than the bit I read the other day, but I guess in hindsight if it is a bad year we can look back and just take the negatives and make the New Year look positive and exciting.

This is an excerpt of 2017 "

A numerological perspective on the world in 2017

ONE is a number of beginning. 2017 bids us all to start something brand new, something that expresses our uniqueness, that uses our leadership abilities, that opens us to new perspectives. 2017 as a One year is a time to think and act independently. It’s also a year to put our leadership abilities and unique talents to use in the greater world, to practice cooperating without losing individuality"

You can read the rest over here. But as with everything there is always something to quantify and balance predictions and you would have to work out your personal Numerology predictions and mine goes something to the effect that I have to get my lazy A$$ into gear so that I can have the awesomely predicted 2017.

No matter what is predicted for 2017, I know it is going to be an extremely difficult year for me. I cannot believe that 10 years ago my life changed so drastically. My life turned upside down in a way that I would never have thought possible at the time.

This time ten years ago Clinty was facing the final year of his school year with exuberance. It was an end of a chapter and we had no idea at the time what an end it would be. Everyone says that time flies and they can't believe that a year has passed etc, but no time passes as quickly as the anniversary of your child's death. I am still in 2007 and it is honestly and truly almost impossible for my brain to register 10 years.

This year is going to be EXTREMELY difficult for me. Every single time I see the date, it flashes and screams 2007 and not 2017. The enormity of this will be lost on someone who has not experienced the death of a child. 2007 was the year of hell, indescribable hell. It was also the year that I believed that I would not be saying one day that my child died 10 years ago. Yet here I am ten years later and suddenly I am starting to become unstuck and the reality of it being 10 years is screaming louder and louder and I am starting to drown and suffocate and reality is becoming very difficult.

I am tired and I am drained and I have been floundering since Clinty's birthday and I feel more now, than ever before, that I am alone in my grief. Everyone has moved on and I am the only one that will forever be broken.  My story will always make me cry and I will never heal.

2017 will be the make or break year and I cannot for the life of me see how I am going to make another year no matter what Astrology and or Numerology has in store for me. Strangely, this is not what I planned on writing about in this post. I was going to go through what I learned this year, what I achieved and what I didn't, but this is my life and this what is on my mind all the time. No matter how I hide it from the world, how I pretend that life is Ok, it is not. I go through the motions, I look for distractions but it is becoming harder and harder all the time and no one cares or gives a damn.

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